Anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I’m not very good with a toolbox. I have got one, it’s just that it’s not very big. And there’s not a lot in it.
And they’ll tell you that I tried and failed – twice – to be a driving instructor.
I was also, you might remember, the Striker Who Never Scored because I once went through a whole season without scoring. The only centre-forward in the league to do so.
And there was that time at school when I was so rubbish at morris dancing that the teachers couldn’t trust me to be a dancer so they gave me a horse’s head on a stick and told me to stand at one end and stay out of the way.
Hmm…
So sport was out. Trades were out. Morris dancing and driving instructing were definitely out and I’d watched enough foreign-language cartoons and food-eating contests and episodes of Cops to last a lifetime in my various TV jobs.
It all pointed to the kind of work I do now.
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