Pazzardous Material Vol 24 – the week’s posts on a single page:
Open Up
There’s a lot to be said for ‘free writing’, the idea of putting pen to paper or finger to keyboard continuously for a set period of time without worrying about any of these:
- Spelling
- Grammar
- Topic
- Where or how you might use what you produce, if at all
- Who might end up reading it
- How good/rubbish it might be
- Judging individual ideas
Just write, that’s what I say. You can’t edit a blank page.
So if you want to write (or need to), just start even by conceding via the written word that you’re struggling and ask yourself why that might be. You’ll have a hundred words before you know and be off and running.
Green Onions
When I hear Green Onions I think of the worst sandwich I’ve ever eaten.
It was back in my student days when disposable income was, shall we say, a little on the low side. So low, in fact, that when I was hungry one day, and looked in the fridge for something to eat, the only thing I could cobble together was an onion and mint sauce sandwich.
It tasted as bad as it sounds. Worse.
I knew then, a quarter of a century ago, that I didn’t want to settle for such ridiculous concoctions in later life, and had every intention of doing better.
Bit of a shame, then, that I no idea exactly how I was going to do better, and that the internet hadn’t reached these shores by that stage, and that I was years away from any real self-awareness to help me escape to a sunnier world where ham and pickle nestled in the bosom of soft, fresh bread.
What Do I Get?
If you run a website, it’s worth remembering that people make up their mind about a webpage within a few brief seconds of landing on it.
They ask:
- “Am I in the right place?”
- “Is this for me?”
- “What’s in it for me?”
Web copy often begins with benefits and follows with features, aiming to convince visitors that they are in the right place for what they’re looking for, before trying to get them to take action (sign up for something, buy, or request more information, for example).
That’s when UX – user experience – comes into play:
- How easy is it for someone to use, interact with or get information from the site?
- How much information do people have to give when filling in contact or opt-in forms?
- Do pages load quickly?
- How easy is the site to navigate?
- Is the site responsive (mobile-friendly)?
Out of Space
This post could be about needing more online storage and the arguably even more boring topic of the need to backup work in case it disappears for whatever reason.
But given the sad death of Keith Flint today I won’t write about those things now.
The Prodigy made a cultural impact, beginning at a time just a few years before the internet really landed in Britain, in the late 1990s.
I appreciate Keith didn’t actually sing on Out of Space but it’s still The Prodigy and I liked them and admired the impact they made.
When The Levee Breaks
When Amazon decides to enter an industry, prepare for change.
Everyone knows they changed the book publishing industry (and they’re changing it again, as Audible, one of their brands, has facilitated huge growth in the sale of audio books).
Most people know they’re contributing to huge changes in the broadcast industry.
Many people know they’ll soon be shaking up grocery retail too.
And yet Amazon could do and be so much more.
They’re a trillion-dollar company.
Netflix runs on Amazon Web Services, as does the BBC iPlayer.
On a smaller scale, they pay commissions to people who are Associates (affiliate marketers). And they quietly give money to charity every time some of their customers who are in the know buy things from their website (I explain more about these things in my forthcoming book – make sure you’re signed up to my email list to get a free copy).
What do they want?
They want data and dominance of the emerging smart home (Alexa is just the start). They want “to own the last ten yards of physical distribution”, as I read recently.
These are the reasons some people hate Amazon and these are the reasons some people love Amazon.
MAH
In my best Frank Spencer voice, I’ve had a bit o’ trouble.
Not too much, you’ll be delighted to hear, but just enough to get under my skin.
You see, I get slightly irate when huge, greedy organisations sap my time and energy as I try to deal with their customer service department.
Like Sky, who talk about customer loyalty but seemingly have no real grasp of it.
And thetrainline.com, who could barely make cancelling a booking and asking for a refund any harder.
And Barclays, whose individuals are pleasant enough but institutionally and collectively are as useful as Frank Spencer (or me) with a toolbox.
Finally, there’s our old friend, the phone spammer that happens to be a computer. “Have I had an accident?” it asks. “Yes,” I tell it, in order to get put through to a human as quickly as possible.
And then I tell them:
I’m going to bill you for my time. Who should I send my invoice to?
They hang up before I can. Every time. And it’s one more list I’m sure I’m removed from.
The point is, the internet now gives us the choice and access to do something about poor customer service: we can leave one company more easily than ever before and find a better option without too much trouble.
And I enjoy a good ‘David-and-Goliath’-style victory over the huge and greedy as much as the next man.
I Met a Girl on Myspace
I’d dropped Mischa off at school and was sitting in rush-hour traffic on my way home, listening to Shaun Keaveny on 6 Music.
It was Shaun’s last day hosting the breakfast show and I heard loads of people’s messages packed to the gills with sadness and great humour, often at the same time.
I felt three things:
- Shaun has a community, a loyal tribe of listeners
- I felt that I’d missed out and wasn’t part of it
- I wanted in!
I’m not part of many ‘tribes’ but this felt like a good ‘un. Our sense of belonging, and the guidance we take, when we’re among ‘our group’ is primal and partly why social media is so successful. As Robert Cialdini said: “We look to what others do to guide our behaviour.”
Keaveny’s now on the same station in the afternoons, which I prefer as I’ve got more chance of being exposed to beauties like I Met a Girl on Myspace by The Lancashire Hotpots, which, I’m convinced, I wouldn’t have heard anywhere else.
>>>Playlist<<<
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